that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
