matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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