She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize