You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm both gender and math confused
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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