Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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