I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
