I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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