did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
