If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
