Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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