i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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