Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
