i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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