My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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