last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
