my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Naked. naked and bneed help.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
