this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
