Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
