and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
