Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
