Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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