Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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