isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Green mimosas i think yes
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
