i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
