I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
