It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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