Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
