If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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