Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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