thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
