Welp...herpes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
