Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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