im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
