My friends, they love my intelligence
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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