Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
