just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
