i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
