Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize