Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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