you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
