We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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