Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize