it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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