I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
