Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
