Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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