I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
