He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
