u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
