he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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