I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
