It's like God shit irony all over that family
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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