I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
