Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
