There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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