I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
