I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
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Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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