i permit you to call me
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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