can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
