we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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