LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
