i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
it glows. i had to have it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Randomize
