my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I need moral support for this bender
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
