I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
