put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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