if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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