Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
