dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
