Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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