with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
